Invasion of the Pinniped People

An interesting story is developing on a small beach in La Jolla, California. The city has slated the beach for use as a children's pool. But recently, a vicious pod of harbor seals decided to claim it as their own, in clear violation of state and international law.


Avast, maties! The shore is ours!
(Photo by Marcel Burkhard)

The seals now lie on the beach all day with their layabout kids, thinking that their cuteness will save them from legal repercussions. For now, it looks like their daring raid will pay off: a federal judge has given the order to put a rope barrier around the beach for protection during pupping season.

My friends, such appeasement will only serve to embolden the seal horde! It is now only a matter of time before they make their way the East Coast. How can we defend ourselves?

UPDATE: Few people know that in addition to piracy, seals excel at running telemarketing scams. Sadly, the little fellow below forgot to use an untraceable number.